


just can’t get enough of you

by localopa



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Porn With Plot, porn blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-02 21:03:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16312682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localopa/pseuds/localopa
Summary: blame the sad dimple.(dan runs an asethetic porn blog that phil’s been unknowingly jerking to for years. it all goes awry when he notices the sad dimple.)





	just can’t get enough of you

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to oliver does phandom big bang 2: electric boogaloo. this idea is so dumb that i just had to write it, and made it even more special by writing it for a big event in the phandom. today is my 21st birthday so here’s to me drinking to the fact that this thing is over.  
> got some thanks to hand out, again. (everyone’s @ is on tumblr)  
> rachel & jess: thanks for still being my friends after last year’s mess and helping write this year’s mess. (follow rachel @worriedpeach and jess @redcarpetlester)  
> audrey: your name in my phone is audio so i almost wrote audio instead of your name. thank you for being my biggest cheerleader, sending me fics of sexy stuff to help me write smut, and making my fic better. also thanks for yelling at me to write. (follow them @uselessphan)  
> emily: thank you for the art!! i was really excited to have a playlist made for my fic and i hope everyone likes it just as much as i did!! (follow them @i-stg-emily)  
> ky: you’re welcome for doing your art for your own fic. and thanks for being a cheerleader and listening to my abstract ideas of what i could include in this fic. (follow them @analester)  
> spotify: fuck me up daddy  
> title of this disaster is from no control by one direction. enjoy. 
> 
> xx. oliver

 

after checking that he’s home alone for the hundredth time, dan closes his door, locking it for good measure, and finishes setting up his camera. 

 

there’s a dildo sitting in the middle of the frame, when isn’t there? the camera is positioned in a way that there’s no way his face would be seen, at most the middle of his back. he’s never been shirtless enough times for fans to know that he has an orion’s belt of freckles on his lower back, across his spine. hell, he forgets about it most of the time. 

 

nobody but his mum, dad, brother, and, weirdly enough, cornelia knows about those freckles. his parents don’t seem to be the kind to look for porn on tumblr, or any porn at all. he hopes his brother isn’t gay just for the fact that he’d be mortified if this is how he figures it out. and cornelia is on a strict “martyn lester dick diet” and doesn’t really have a need for watching men fuck themselves with dildos. 

 

or so she  _ says _ . nobody can truly trust cornelia. she's swedish. 

 

his porn blog started one night when he was incredibly horny, 17, and had nothing but lotion and his left hand on a friday night.  _ makemehowl  _ became a big hit by the time he was 21, and at that point he hadn’t posted anything. he just reblogged twinks fucking themselves or getting fucked by big, burly men while moaning like a wanton slut.

 

one night, when phil was up north with his family, he put his editing and camera skills to the test and filmed his ass getting fucked with a dildo. he had made sure there was nothing to identify to his real persona, though he doubts horny fans of his and phil’s would really be paying attention to the background. people who are trying to get off aren’t really looking at the interior decoration. 

 

the video ended up being a rousing success, resulting in messages being sent his way about how some guy would want to fuck him. which was  _ fantastic _ wank bank material, let me tell you. dan doesn’t think he’s ever come so hard in his life at that point. 

 

this video is just another dildo fucking one, complete with whines and calls for an invisible  _ daddy _ and, most importantly, the schoolgirl skirt from phil’s video a while back. It’s probably not a good idea, considering cum is hard to get out of these shitty costumes, don’t ask, but he can’t be bothered by it anyway.

 

if anything, he’ll just buy a new one to replace it and phil will be none the wiser.

 

he’s spent so much time setting up that he jumps when he gets a text from phil saying he’ll be home in 20 minutes. a video like this takes maybe 10 minutes to film, plus a couple minutes where he’s coming down, and then another 5 to clean up. it’s pushing him almost to the limit, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

 

once the camera starts rolling, he stumbles over into position, side view of the cock and, subsequently, dan as well. he secretly loves this shot, showing off his thick (see: thicc with two c’s) thighs and the pudge on his belly as he bounces on the cock. 

 

he comes untouched, the knowledge that this is going on the internet for people to see and  _ wank _ to makes him a goner every time. 

 

if phil wonders why dan’s a sweaty mess on their couch and a little out of it, he never asks. 

 

-

 

getting ready for tour is a time and a half. on top of coming up with a show, having to figure out the website, plan dates and travel,  _ get a sponsor _ , dan adds one thing to his list: queue up videos and pictures for the time they’re gone.

 

the small breaks they get during tour won’t cut it. he has to smash(mouth) months of work into the three days that phil decides to go up north. 

 

this goes easier said than done. 

 

on the first day was all filming and making sure nothing looked like it was all filmed on the same day. not only for his own sanity. he doesn’t want his followers to think about him queuing up his own work, but so it doesn’t raise suspicion that, oh, porn blogger alex  _ makemehowl  _ and youtube star daniel howell are queuing up stuff at the same time.

 

although the porn/youtube crossover audience is probably low, he hopes to  _ god  _ his followers don’t get off to his porn on tumblr. 

 

the second day is spent editing the videos, pictures and gifs, uploading them to tumblr, and queuing them in a way that makes him seem active but not  _ too  _ active. his favorite one is a slow motion gif of his ass bouncing on a dildo, with the appropriate caption  _ wiggle wiggle wiggle.  _

 

what? dan can be cheeky.

 

on the third day, the day phil comes home, dan can barely sit down. he had to edit the day before standing because he fucked his ass so thoroughly that he couldn’t even squat. today’s no different, he can squat half way before his asshole is yelling at him for his horrible decisions, but he has to pressure through because  _ phil _ . there's no way in  _ hell _ that he’s giving off any indication that he masturbated while his flatmate was gone. or that he had jerked off, and fucked himself so good he couldn't  _ sit _ . 

 

the time spent before going to bed and posting up a photo is spent with silent hisses and fake smiles that phil can clearly see the pain through. oh well. it’s all for the blog. dan made his decision and at least he’s sated. 

 

for now. 

 

-

 

the notification comes about ten minutes after dan is off to bed, phil retiring right after him and getting comfortable in his own. 

 

_ makemehowl just posted✨ _

_ we noticed they’re a favorite of yours _

 

phil’s heart skips a beat, his dick becoming half hard in a pavlovian effect. he has post notifications on, but it’s almost always reblogs and not the good stuff. even  _ this _ notification isn’t a promise of original content, but it could be. 

 

if not, he can jerk off to alex's old stuff anyways.

 

he taps on the notification, anxiously waiting for his dash to load up and, sure enough, it’s new, original content from his favorite blog. alex’s blog has been the  majority of his wank bank for a good four years now, there’s something about his body that screams twink and the need to get fucked.

 

his favorites are videos of alex bouncing on a dildo, even the small ones, and moaning his head off like it’s his fucking  _ job _ . which, it kind of is, he guesses.

 

now he’s never  _ seen _ alex’s face, but that’s the thing with tumblr porn. not everyone shows their face in favor of anonymity. kind of sexy when you think about it. they’re showing off their body but not their face, so it’s still their secret to have. 

 

he’s never seen his face, but phil knows that alex’s twink bottom body has got a gorgeous face to go along with it. rule of thumb with the internet: there’s rarely ever a twink that isn’t attractive. they wouldn’t be a twink without it. everyone that twink stands for totally wank-material incredible… naked...  _ kink _ … yeah... that’s what twink stands for. 

 

totally didn’t just make that up.

 

phil is brought back with a video of alex fucking himself with a toy, the audio muted. it’s a side view of his body, face turned away from the camera, long pale arms thrusting a dark contrasting dildo into his ass, and,  _ no doubt _ , unmuting this masterpiece would bring on the most beautiful moans he’s ever heard since the last time. 

 

he bites back a groan, the sight of his anonymous tumblr boy has always gotten him half hard. his hand has already started palming himself through his boxers, the other dropping his phone to scramble for his earbuds. he’ll be fucked if he lets dan know he’s getting off to porn. not like it’s a weird thing to do, but he’s 31 and doesn’t need to be questioned about his habits that deal with semen coming out of his penis.

 

once his headphones are plugged in, all systems are a go, sir, and phil  _ finally _ slips a hand underneath his joggers. a soft moan escapes his lips when he touches himself, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. he hasn’t even clicked on the video, just completely hard for a boy he’ll never meet. 

 

turning the video’s audio on is like unwrapping the gift you wanted most at christmas. sure enough, alex is back at it again with the whiny moans and high pitch begging, a squeaky  _ daddy _ somewhere in there that phil has come accustomed to. he’s quick to start jerking himself off, biting his lip as he starts at a fast pace. the video is longish, a couple of minutes, but between waiting for this video and how hard he is, phil’s not lasting any longer than a 12 year old kid thinking about boobs for the first time. 

 

sure enough, with a minute left in the video, he’s spilling into his hand and on his joggers, biting down harder as for no noise to escape. when he comes down, his phone has gone dark and his other hand’s a mess.

 

thanks, alex. ( _ for the incredible orgasm.) _

 

-

 

to say dan’s stressed is an understatement. 

 

first off, his ass  _ hurts _ . it’s been days since he did his stockpile. they’re rehearsing, and his ass just  _ hurts.  _ he’s walking with a slight limp, brushing it off as he slept wrong, which earns him weird looks from his crew members. sure, sleeping wrong on something’s usually saved for your neck or something, not your legs, but it’s the only excuse he’s got, so shut up.

 

second, he’s tired. rehearsals are long and tedious at some points and all dan wants is to just go home and sleep for five years. 

 

and third, he’s pretty sure he'd heard phil doing some not-advertiser-friendly things in his room the other night, right after a queued post from his porn blog went live, meaning he’s got a theory that his best friend unknowingly just jerked off to him jerking off and honestly? he doesn’t know how to feel. 

 

it’s not like he can outright  _ ask _ phil about it. imagine that, asking your best friend  _ hey i heard you jerked off the other night, not important but what did you jerk off to?  _ their friendship has been through  _ a lot  _ already. and by a lot, he means the sexual tension that was there in the early days that never turned into anything. 

 

they’re packing up for the first half of their tour and dan has a lot of time to think. it’s not like he hasn’t thought about how it’d feel to have phil  _ in him _ , he already knows mate’s got a large dick, at least soft he does. or maybe phil’s the kind of guy who’s always at half mast at all times and, holy shit, that means he’s even  _ bigger?  _

 

dan shouldn’t be getting hard from thinking about his best friend’s dick.

 

yet, here he is; subtly closing his door so he can pull one off. 

 

what? he’s far past the place where he feels any shame anymore. 

 

dan slumps against the door, pulling down his joggers just enough to grab himself. a soft moan falls from his lips, his free hand immediately going up to cover his mouth. he just goes for it, not spending the time to tease himself and just fucking like the flash on his dick. 

 

he’s imagined what phil’s dick looks like hard, mate already has a huge one soft. what if he’s both a grower  _ and  _ a shower? would he even be able to take it? how has he gone this long and  _ not  _ fantasized about phil’s cock?

 

a whimper maybe a pitch too loud to be muffled falls from his lips, his knees giving out from the imagery of his best friend’s massive dick. he stuffs two fingers into his mouth to silence himself, but choking on whatever is a huge turn on for dan so all it does is make him moan louder. if this were more than just a mere gangbang on his dick, he’d finger himself, get himself all nice and ready to take the monster that he imagines phil is. he imagines how good he’d take his best friend, he’d be so good. maybe he would get to ride him, really feel his cock split him open and make him feel so us-

 

“dan?” there’s a knock on the door. “dan, are you alright?”

 

oh, of  _ course _ . on the brink of what could possibly be the best orgasm of his  _ life,  _ phil has to come and ruin it. dan can’t very well stop  _ now,  _ but he forces his hand off of himself right before he could feel the warmth in his belly pool up. edging was not a part of the plan but now it is, dan whimpering quietly at the lost of feeling. he’s panting, sliding down the door as he tries to catch his breath. he can’t say that the idea of being caught has  _ not _ got him extra hard. 

 

another knock. oh. right, phil. 

 

“yeah!” his voice is an octave higher than it normally is, but maybe phil will ignore that. “just stubbed my toe s’all.”

 

there’s a beat of silence. “are you sure you’re okay?” the doorknob starts to jiggle. “i could always help with pac-“

 

“no, it’s quite alright!” dan shouts back, his left hand going back to his dick. fuck if phil’s so close, he wants his damn orgasm. “i’ll be okay with pa -  _ ah!  _ \- cking, just procrastinating like normal!”

 

if phil  _ does _ notice anything different, he doesn’t say anything. “okay… if you need me, just call, okay?”

 

dan hums in response, listening to phil walking away from his door. once he thought he was in the clear, it was back to flash dick. almost getting caught made him even closer to that sweet sweet release of cum, making sure he stuffed his free hand into his mouth to muffle any sounds.

 

it’s not long after that before he’s spilling into his hand, breathing harshly through his nose and biting down hard on his hand. he’s out of it for a while, coming down in a haze and now, fuck, he  _ needs _ phil’s dick. but how do you ask for your friend’s dick platonically?

 

-

 

you don’t. you  _ don’t _ because, upon borrowing phil’s laptop, when his was too far away to reach in the cramped tour car they have for the u.k. and europe, one quick look into his internet history is when he loses what he’d been searching for and he gets his answer.

 

_ makemehowell.tumblr.com  _ makes many an appearance in his history. dan can see how many different posts phil’s looked at, can see the (6) next to his  _ wiggle wiggle wiggle  _ post, and he’s filled with both embarrassment and excitement. dan didn’t mean to stumble upon this information, but he’s  _ so _ glad he did. phil is none the wiser to know that it’s his best mate that he’s been tossing off to.

 

needless to say, the orgasm he rubs out in the shower later makes his toes go numb from pleasure.

 

-

 

it was one of those days where, upon waking up, phil knew it was going to be a bad day.

 

he accidentally left his contacts in, falling asleep while editing, so his eyes hurt. their tour bus didn’t have the cereal he liked so he had to go with dan’s, which isn’t  _ too  _ bad but he was really looking forward to his own cereal that morning. he’d stubbed his toe in the shower, ran into the door to the second lounge, and nearly lost his glasses in the theatre whilst touring it. all in all, fantastic days so far. 

 

his only saving grace was that they were staying in a hotel tonight, a rare night where they had separate rooms, and a quick check of his phone during intermission that says  _ makemehowl _ has posted something new. 

 

thank  _ fuck _ . 

 

he’s bouncing off the walls the whole time after the show, running on adrenaline from both the finished show and the anticipation of what’s to come. it’s no more different than how he usually is after shows, something about performing to their fans gives his little introverted self a burst of energy. just that this time, phil is excited for his own private after party that nobody knows about.

 

in the uber back, he’s still buzzing. he tries to keep it in and just watch the scenery as they drive, but the waiting and suspense has his vibrating in his seat.

 

“you okay there?” dan asks once they get to the hotel. “you seemed keyed up.”

 

phil waves him off. “‘m fine. just normal energy after the show, s’all. i’m sure i’ll crash once i get to my room.”

 

this seems to sate his friend, nodding to himself as they get onto the lift to their rooms. he says his goodnight as they part, phil’s room one way and dan’s another. another silent prayer of thanks goes to whoever will listen that dan won’t hear him. 

 

once he’s safely in his room and the door is latched and locked for good measure, everything happens in a flash. his clothes are stripped and thrown somewhere, saving his phone in the process somehow. phil trips over his man feet to the bed, covers strewn away as he settled into the bed. immediately, he unlocks his phone, pulling up tumblr and going to alex’s blog. 

 

video. it’s a video. 

 

_ sometimes, i just suck guys ;) _

 

okay. objectively, that’s a good caption. but that’s not the focus right now. 

 

the screen shows a dildo suction cupped to something, blank background and the sound mute. phil unmutes the video as soon as possible, watching as the boy on the screen moves forward to the phallus. almost cautiously, alex takes small, kitten licks of the head, getting more and more confident with every lick. he moans high, sucking the tip into his mouth and immediately hollowing his cheeks.

 

phil has a hand on himself in an instant, moaning with the boy onscreen as he pulls more and more of the dick into his mouth. it’s hard to keep his eyes open, pleasure running through his body. the hand around his phone has almost a vice grip, turning up the volume on the video. 

 

back on the screen, alex pulls a hand up to cover what his mouth can’t reach, moaning loudly and proudly around the fake cock. he pulls away to lick a stripe on the underside of the dick, immediately pulling it back into his mouth when he reaches the head. after a minute, his hand drops down, and  _ christ  _ the boy is deep throating the fucking thing. 

 

he can feel himself getting closer and closer as alex continues to deep throat the dildo, toes curling. the video is nearly over, phil can do this. he’s 31, dammit. he can make it to the end of the video. 

 

he happens to look back at the screen right before he comes, seeing alex pull off and smile, a dimple poking out and-

 

wait.

 

is that- ? is that the sad dimple?

 

“dan?! oh fu-“ phil comes all over his hand, dropping his phone on the floor. he can’t do anything but ride out his high, trying to get it over quickly as possible. as he comes down, it sinks into him. fucking christ. 

 

alex is dan. he just jerked off - and came - to the thought of his best friend sucking his dick. 

 

shit. 

 

-

 

phil can’t look at dan in the immediate aftermath of what he’s done. even if he has to, it’s in fleeting glances and he knows dan’s noticed it. he evades any kind of confrontation by editing a video he’s been meaning to get to.

 

maybe it wasn’t dan. maybe it’s just someone who has a cheek dimple and two freckles in the exact same place as dan’s sad dimple. and has the same pink lips that he just wants to stretched over his hard cock, spit leaking out the sides of his mouth trying to take it all in, tongue licking the underside of his c-

 

  1. we are most certainly NOT thinking about our best friend in a gay way. this isn’t some fan fiction where he wants to fuck dan, this is real life and real life phil didn’t want to fuck dan. just fan fiction phil.



 

he wishes this were just a fic, that way wanting to fucking bone his best friend would at least have some justification.

 

and, no, finding out your best friend of nearly nine years is running a porn blog to which you’ve been jerking off to for years isn’t enough reason to fuck him.

 

yet, phil can’t stop imagining what dan would look like bent over, taking his dick while moaning like the little whore he is. or the noises dan would make while he rimmed him. or how he writhed against the sheets, waiting for phil to just fuck him sen-

 

“did they mess up my haircut?” dan interrupts phil’s thoughts, causing him to blush. 

 

“what?” his voice is two octaves higher than it normally is. he feels like he’s been caught, like dan can read his thoughts.

 

“did they mess up my haircut?” he messes with his fringe, pouting. “you won’t look at me when i’m talking to you so there has to be  _ something _ wrong.”

 

phil shakes his head, forcing himself to look at dan and feeling his cheeks heat up again. “no!” he squeaks. “your haircut is fine!”

 

“then why won’t you look at me?”

 

no, he’s not answering this  _ honestly.  _ the last thing he needs is more awkwardness between them. 

 

“just,” phil shrugs, “tired,” which  _ isn’t  _ a lie but not the complete truth. touring nonstop has had a profound effect on him. surely not the reason he can’t look at his best friend. trying to look as sleepy as possible comes as no challenge, he just hopes it’s enough to convince dan. 

 

dan sighs, but doesn’t argue it further and goes back to his laptop. phil uses this as an out to go to his bed on the bus. 

 

sleep is anyone’s best friend when you've got a boner for  _ yours _ . 

 

-

 

“just tired” only works for so long, as does swearing off dan’s secret blog. 

 

it takes a week before phil is back on dan’s porn blog. in that time, he learns to school his features whenever he looks at dan. he no longer raises suspicion after day 6 of finding out the truth, thank god. and now he can’t stop imagining it’s  _ his  _ cock that’s making dan into that whiny mess of a man.  _ his _ cock that he’s bouncing on.  _ his _ cock that he’s choking to take down.

 

the problem is he wants to fuck dan. the problem is he wants to fuck dan because of his secret porn blog. the  _ problem _ is he really, desperately wants to fuck dan but he can't, he just  _ can’t. _

 

you don’t just suddenly want to have sex with your best friend. it’s unethical. 

 

they’re currently hanging out in bigger lounge area, on separate couches in their usual browsing positions. phil is trying to keep his mind off of the fact he wants to have his way with his friend not a few feet away. he tries to distract himself with tumblr and twitter, scrolling endlessly through the sites. tumblr ends up being a bad idea since dan’s blog pops up, a gifset of him fucking himself and no caption. 

 

dan, however oblivious to what’s going on on his side of the bus, is ranting on about something he’s seen on  _ his  _ tumblr. something about this cute dog or whatever, phil isn’t listening. he can’t listen, too entranced by the gifset on his screen.

 

“and he’s just sitting there like the good boy he is an- phil?” dan pauses, waiting for phil to turn his attention toward him. “are you even  _ listening _ ?” dan groans loudly, the other boy not even flinching. “what are you even looking at?” he gets up to go over to the other couch. 

 

phil seems to break his trance and slams his laptop shut. “nothing!”

 

“bullshit, nothing,” dan rolls his eyes, trying to get the laptop out of phil’s grip. “what were you looking at,  _ porn _ ?”

 

this stops the older from fighting back, his laptop immediately slipping from his grip. “no! no, don’t open that! please,  _ dan _ !”

 

“are you seriously looking at porn on the bus?” dan chuckles lightly, opening the laptop. “i wasn’t even ten feet away and you’re over here trying to get your wank on! what kind of wei-“

 

phil squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for dan to react. he knows. he knows he knows. he knows he knows he knows. _he_ _knows_. fuck. fuck, abort mission. abort. cancel subscription. end game. exit out of this window. this isn’t how dan should find out, dan shouldn’t have found out at all. 

 

there’s only one thing that his mind tells him to do is run, run away and avoid dan at all costs. so, that’s what he does, scrambling to his feet and running out of the bus, barely giving time for dan to react.

 

he’ll see him at the show, phil tells himself. but right now, he needs to be anywhere  _ but _ here.

 

-

 

the show that night is awkward. the fans can pick up on the tension between them, some jokes don’t land the way they should, and the fact they can barely make eye contact for more than a fleeting second makes the show seem to drag on. 

 

however, the fans try to make up for the awkward tension with how they react, hoping that it’ll balance everything out. it doesn’t, but nice try guys. proud of you. 

 

they don’t talk while they’re getting out of outfits and changing into something more comfortable for the hotel. they’re sharing a room tonight, too late to try and change anything by the time they had checked in. phil is not looking forward to it, despite having separate beds in the room. 

 

they don’t talk on the way over to the hotel, room for the holy ghost and its partner between the two men as they ride. their driver tries to get them to say something, anything about their show or their day or even their  _ names.  _ it’s painful silence, tension you can cut with a knife, and a bit depressing. 

 

they’re  _ dan and phil.  _ nothing is supposed to ruin them. 

 

(except finding out your best friend runs a porn blog that you’ve been tossing off to and then keeping it a secret.  _ then _ , said best friend  _ finds out you know.  _ and you said nothing to them. something  _ can _ ruin them, apparently.)

 

so, everything considered, it’s a shock to phil when he finds himself kneeling over dan, both of them shirtless with dan on his way to just boxers, kissing like their lives depended on it. 

 

it comes to a head when they enter the hotel room and phil decides that they should talk it out. he gets about three steps into the room, hand raised and mouth open when a wild dan attacks him. “attacks” is quite a strong word, more or less dan just kisses him and sucks all the words phil had planned to say right out of his mouth.

 

at first, phil tried to fight it, mumbling words against dan’s insistent lips before he just gives up and gives in. a secret part of him has been  _ dying  _ to kiss this man since he found out, alex being the perfect kind of guy phil had in mind. and to find out that alex is dan? well, that just made everything even better. 

 

dan’s hands had grabbed at phil’s neck, pulling him in close as he moaned softly and longingly against his lips. phil’s hands went to the other man's hips, following after dan as he pulled them towards the bed. shirts are thrown off somewhere in there, he doesn’t know the logistics. all he knows is that everything is fast and hot. 

 

soon, trousers and boxers are gone and phil is thrusting into dan, the latter moaning and clawing at the sheets. phil doesn’t know what to do with his hands, moving between dan’s hips and gripping the sheets on either side of his torso. 

 

"alex’s” porn blog has  _ nothing _ on real life dan. right now, he’s loud loud  _ loud _ , even the slightest of sensations causing a noise to fall from his lips. and to phil, it’s really fucking hot knowing that  _ he's _ the one doing this to the younger boy, that  _ he’s _ the one who gets to see dan like this and nobody else. only him. not followers on tumblr. just him. 

 

if dan is loud during sex, then he appeared surprisingly quiet during his orgasm. he cums with a shout, staccato in nature, with silent whimpers to follow as he comes down from his high. his body is trembling, shivering  his eyes roll back into his head so far he  _ swore _ he could see his brain. it’s a beautiful sight if phil’s ever seen one. he follows not too long after, groaning and his head falling to rest on dan’s shoulder. 

 

he doesn’t cum near as beautifully as dan does. a gross old man, that's how he cums.

 

phil finds himself lying awake later, dan curled up against his chest sound asleep, wondering how this became his life. he wanted to talk, he really did. they can’t continue their tour with the awkward sexual tension that they had before. did they just fuck to get rid of the tension? or did they fuck because there’s something else there? had they been too thick to notice that maybe, just maybe, there was something deeper between them.

 

whatever. this was not some tween girl's fanfiction. dan’s the one who kissed him first. he can just blame dan. but he really just wants to talk things out.

 

_ ‘in the morning,’ _ his sleep addled mind supplies. _ ‘yeah, we'll just talk about this in the morning.’ _

 

_

 

but they don’t talk about it in the morning. in fact, they don’t end up talking about it at all. every time phil goes to bring it up, dan promptly changes the subject. and by change the subject, we mean  _ sex _ . they start to have a lot more sex than they did before, which was… well.. none. 

 

it all started when they shared rooms more. it was the part of the tour during which their hotel rooms were shared, no real obvious reason for it. it’s just the way it is. they share rooms and, more often than not, they fuck, which takes away the stress, no doubt, however, every attempt for them to talk was quickly thrown to the wind and somehow phil’s dick would end up being in dan’s ass. 

 

he tried talking to dan after sex, in that brief grace period in between orgasm and sleep, but dan would always mumble in protest of his futile attempts.“phil, not now,” he would say drowsily before falling asleep. phil would be left lying awake, all of the things he wants to say and talk about dying on his tongue yet again.

 

he gives up on trying to talk after the fifth time.

 

however, phil snaps in sydney.

 

they’re retiring to their room for the remainder of the night and they’re right back where they are  _ every _ night. making out, one boy having the other pinned against the hotel room door, with it being phil tonight. dan’s crowding him, tugging on his shirt and making insistent whining noises against his lips. phil’s just kind of taking it, not much in the mood to really get into it. it’s another minute of half hearted making out before he finally pushes dan off of him. 

 

“noo,” dan whines in response, “come back.”

 

dan goes in for another kiss, which phil dodges swiftly. “what are you doing?”

 

“i want to talk, dan,” phil says, taking a deep breath.

 

“and  _ i _ want us to fuck. but it doesn’t look like that’s going to be happening anytime soon now.” dan crosses his arms, bottom lip out, pouting.

 

“no, dan.” phil’s tone is hard, “you’re not pulling any shit. this has been going on for far too long and i’ve stayed quiet for too long.”

 

“what are you even talking about, phil?”

 

“i don't know, maybe us fucking?” phil gestured between the two of them. “the fact you found out i know about your porn blog? the fact you  _ run _ a secret porn blog and didn’t tell me?!”

 

“it’s not a secret if you tell people about i-“

 

“i’m! not! done! talking!” phil said between claps. “or the fact that i’ve been jerking off to this porn blog for years?”

 

“you’ve been jerking off to me for years?”

 

“yes! i was! i didn’t know it was you, or i wouldn’t have done it, dan!” he throws his hands in the air. “and i didn’t even get to talk to you before my cock was in your ass!”

 

dan’s silent for quite a while after, the words hanging in the air. “what’s there to talk about? you obviously find me attractive, the feeling’s mutual. what’s so wrong?”

 

“what’s wrong is that you ran! i was scared i ruined our friendship or damaged it somehow! you didn’t talk to me, dan, you just ran. and then suddenly we’re having sex like nothing ever happened. i don’t understand,” phil’s hands fall to his side, exacerbated. “why did you have sex with me?”

 

“well, it’s not like you stopped me or told me 'no,’ first of all.” dan crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs. “i’ve kind of had bottled up feelings from when we first met. i saw it as my opportunity to finally act on it without it being weird.”

 

“but it  _ was  _ weird.”

 

“yeah, on  _ your _ end. not mine,” he shrugs again. “but you went with it and i thought i could get away with getting some sex.”

 

“you’re talking about this like it’s no big deal,” phil says, dumbfounded. “how are you so nonchalant with this?”

 

“because the stress of keeping up a secret porn blog while going on a world tour is already enough for me to worry about all at once. the sex is great, it makes me less stressed, makes  _ you  _ less stressed, and you don’t have a grumpy dan.  _ now _ can i have your dick in my ass?” 

 

if he ignores the last comment, dan’s right. admittedly, the sex  _ is  _ great, everything about dan is great, and ever since they started fucking, he, in general, had been less stressed. if we take away the stress of wondering what was going on between the two of them. 

 

“so,” phil sighs, needing to ask one more thing before he does anything, “you have repressed feelings for me?”

 

dan seems to be taken aback by the question, cheeks dusted with bright pink. “y-yeah. i mean, i always fancied you when we first met. you never did anything so i didn’t either. and i kind of just bottled it up and pushed it down?” his last sentence ends high, like a question. his eyes are on the floor. “i still like you, the fucking just came about because you found out.”

 

now, phil has two options. he can kiss dan or he can run. the decision comes very easy, pressing his lips softly against dan’s with a content sigh of relief.

 

-

 

it’s weeks later when he asks. 

 

dan’s had the idea for awhile now, always hinting at something after sex. he asks for the grip to be tighter, thrusts to be harder, marks to be left. phil learns quickly that dan likes it rough, loves it even more when he can feel the echoes of sex on his body. 

 

so it shouldn’t surprise him when he asks. 

 

“can you do something for me?” dan asks during a round of mario kart while they’re riding the bus to their next location. 

 

“like what?” phil’s put half of his attention intio what dan’s saying, using the opportunity to, hopefully, beat dan. fingers crossed.

 

“do you think you could help me out with my blog?” apparently, them just talking isn’t enough of a distraction, phil learns, as dan always crosses the finish line in first place. 

 

he looks to dan, eyes widened, cocking up on eyebrow, gesturing for him to elaborate. 

 

“i want you to mark my thighs up and then take a picture,” he says it so casually, like he’s asking for something as simple as a mint.

 

“w-what?” phil stammers, dropping his controller. “you want me to do _ what _ ?”

 

“don’t act like i’m asking you to kill my dog, phil,” dan rolls his eyes. “i’ve been wanting to do something with hickies for a while and had nobody to do them so,” he gestures vaguely towards phil. “you.”

 

“me.” phil points to himself.

 

dan groans in response, setting aside his controller and crawling over to phil. “you,” he mumbles again before kissing him, wrapping his arms around phil’s neck. he pulls him out of his slump, tightening his arms so he doesn’t have to disconnect their lips. 

 

phil responds with his hands immediately going to his hips, yelping into dan’s mouth when he pulled them up. he pulled away, pushing dan down onto the couch and connecting his mouth with his neck. dan moans, leaning his head to the side to give phil more room. 

 

“yes,” he says breathlessly, hands moving to grip phil’s shirt. “please.”

 

soon enough, dan’s shirt and pants where gone, thrown across the bus somewhere. phil’s mouth is attached to dan’s hip, one hand moving slowly on his dick. he looks up to dan innocently as he sucks a bite into dan’s skin, thumbing over the head.

 

it takes another five minutes before dan’s cumming on his tummy, marks littered from his neck to his thighs. afterwards, phil’s cum is added to the mix, he takes a couple pictures, and cleans him up. just like a good boyfriend should.

 

-

 

dan’s finished editing the pictures, loving how the turned out. makeup wasn’t happy about the marks on his neck, but he couldn’t be happier.

 

“dan, come on,” phil calls from the front of the bus.”we have to get ready for the show.”

 

“coming!” dan goes to tumblr, making sure he’s on his porn blog before uploading the photos. he sets it so it posts in an hour. once that’s all done, he closes his laptop and leaves the bus.

 

an hour later,  _ makemehowl  _ posted a new picture. 

 

_ daddy loves to take care of me <3 _

 

_ fin.  _

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @ astronomerhxwell


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